Patience is non-attachment

The phone stayed dark and silent. It’s been 3 hours since I sent her a text and 2 hours 45 minutes since I started waiting patiently for her to respond. She seemed to be taking her time. Maybe she didn’t care, maybe she didn’t like me, maybe I said too much, or maybe I said too little. Did I come off too needy, or too cold and disinterested?

“To wait” is the first word that comes in association with the word “patiently”. The Oxford’s English dictionary defines it as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. How could I have exhibited such “capacity to tolerate” while waiting for her to respond?

Any action has some motivation behind it, conscious or unconscious. When we take action we intend to move from point A to point B in our lives, hoping that by our predictions the destination is going to be better by some personal measure of goodness. Yet we have no control over the circumstances or the results of our actions. An intended result may come or it may not. It’s almost like throwing rocks into the pond and watching the water circles flow and interfere. We are clueless about the true results of our actions as our ability to predict the future is limited by our limited access to the state of reality at the time of the action. And despite all this we choose action over inaction because that is our nature.

For me patience is non-attachment to the results of actions. The point B may not be as good as you thought, but it can’t stop you from trying. Do what you must and come what may. Stay curious about the outcome, it can exceed your expectations just as easily.